A fly on the wall

 

So I was sitting at our kitchen island yesterday as mommoms and poppy were putting away groceries (to clarify IIIII brought them in, I just knew they wanted them all to go in very particccccc'lar places so I removed myself from the putting away of the groceries in order to help their peace of mind.. i am not a lazy 'won't put up the groceries' bum) and they were just saying THE GOOFIEST FINGS OF ALL TIME and I thought "OOOH, IVE GOT TO WRITE THIS DOWN" so i FLUNG myself to my room, got my computer and perched myself on a bar stool to record the ENTIRE HILARIUM that was happening before me. Inspired by the great Shakey Bill Daniels over at My 2 Scentse, read and enjoy...

(Poppy begins to clean out and organize the kitchen cabinet): "do we really need Cajun Lentil soup??.....check that and see if it has an expiration date"

(he hands it to me): "I dont see one"

Poppy (as he begins to examine the box like a foreign object): "......what IS a Lentil?"

Poppy: "well, shelf number two is our chip and snack shelf. shelf number one is our cereal and cookie shelf."

Me: "well what goes on shelf number three"

Poppy: "everything that doesn't go on shelf one or two"

It should also be noted with that quote that AT LEAST 5 times in the 10 minute span I was sitting next to the cabinet Poppy handed me various cans, boxes, and bags to "check and see if this has an expiration date".

(Mommoms had bought new Olive Oil at the store.  Poppy, frustrated shows Mommoms the nearly 3/4 full bottle of Olive Oil that was in the cabinet.)

Mommoms: "well this oil smells better than the other one"

Poppy: "no it doesn't honey"

Mommoms: "yes it does, smell of it"

Poppy: "its not expired"

(Poppy smells it...)

Poppy: "well yah, that does smell different"

(Mommoms smiles and continues cooking.  Poppy, unsatisfied, begins to read and compare the two labels.  He then interrupts the new conversation to say...)

"'DELICATE TASTE'....see...this one has a 'DELICATE TASTE'. and this one.....doesn't"

(He then compromised by deciding to use his Olive Oil to clean the grill from now on.  Vindication.)

Mommoms:"we need our own reality tv show.  But it would be hard to have cameras around, you always be like (primps hair)..."

(Poppy, without looking up from his work): "......and flexing"

 

(Mommoms stirs the pasta in the pot): "this is called my OWN creation"

(Pauses a moment)

"...bought from the store"

Mommoms to Me: "man we're going miss you around here"

Poppy: "really? im not going anywhere"

(noodles bubble over the top of a pan)

(Mommoms scurries about the kitchen opening and shutting all shorts of draws and cabinet doors) "aawwwwwww maaaaaan, how do you handle this kind of disaster?!"

Mommoms to Poppy: "i need a new cook top. i really wish you'de order me a new cook top"

(I had helped poppy pump water out of the top of the potty earlier that day. GLAMOROUS.  3 hours later, without any preface or connecting conversation, he interrupts the current conversation to say): "....honey, next time a toilet breaks around here.....tell me to call a plumber"


We had all sat down at the dinner table to eat.  We begin discussing different things about Spain and what we think it might be like.  Mommoms then asked what kind of food they eat over there.  I told her I thought there was more pork or lamb than cow, but that I wasn't sure. Senora Alvarez, my Cultura de Espana professora, would be sooo angry right now.   Mommoms and I continue with conversation.  Poppy, however, pulls out his iphone and without saying a word starts to look something up.  Conversation continues.  A few moments later he speaks up and says..."....SEAFOOD!  Lots of seafood. I wonder what else they eat orrr' dur'..."  Mommoms and I start discussing how I AM NOT the biggest fan of seafood and all the sudden, with such an astonished and puzzled look Poppy blurts out, "LENTILS?!? SPAIN HAS LENTILS?!?! WHAT ARE THESE THINGS?!?"

(Mommoms and Poppy start talking about my flight.  They keep giving me advice about what to pack, what to do, what not to do and then Poppy says): "you've got to watch that show Taken....and know that i can't do ANY of that stuff that guy does to get his daughter back"

Hahahaha, I love my Mommoms and Poppy.

Bernie